🧠 Isolation Will Not Improve Behavior

We’ve all seen it—or maybe even done it ourselves:
“Go sit by yourself.”
“No recess today.”
“You can’t be with your friends until you behave.”

The message is clear: connection is conditional. And that’s a problem.

When a child is struggling with behavior, what they most often need is more support, more regulation tools, and more connection—not less. Yet in many classrooms, homes, and even therapeutic settings, the go-to response is isolation. Timeout. Detention. “Think about what you’ve done.”

But here’s the thing: you can’t punish a nervous system into regulation.

Many behaviors that adults label as "defiance" or "disrespect" are actually signs of a child in distress—overwhelmed, dysregulated, or unsure how to get their needs met. When we remove them from the social world, we’re not teaching them anything except that they’re only welcome when they’re easy.

And for neurodivergent kids especially, isolation isn’t just ineffective—it can be deeply harmful.

🔁 What if, instead of isolation, we offered co-regulation?
What if we taught kids how to notice what’s happening in their bodies, gave them tools to calm themselves, and walked alongside them as they practiced those skills?

That doesn’t mean there are no boundaries or consequences—but it does mean we stop pretending that loneliness teaches lessons.

Behavior is communication. Let’s start listening.